Reclaiming My Mondays

The Bachelor Franchise (Bachelor, Bachelorette, and Bachelor in Paradise) has ended for the season and that means two things: 1) Monday night football and 2) My husband has reclaimed the couch and the remote control. Mondays used to be me time- comfy pants, wine, ice cream, and 20+ dramatic future Instagram stars vying for one person’s heart. I looked forward to the Bachelor’s “journey to find love” while on my own personal journey towards diabetes. If you are like me, and no longer have anything left to look forward to on Mondays, use my Essential Guide to Making Mondays Better, conveniently found in this blog post!

Or you don’t question it at all, Jimmy. You accept it for the quality television that it is.

Or you don’t question it at all, Jimmy. You accept it for the quality television that it is.

Step 1: Embrace Your Inner Lard-Ass. I’m talking chips and ice cream. Some of my favorite store brands include the Clancy’s Wavy Potato Chips. This is the Aldi copycat of Lays. Additionally, make it pint night. If you’re trying to be somewhat healthy, score the Sundae Shop version of Halo Top Chocolate ice cream (FYI, steer clear of the Sundae Shop vanilla, its texture is off-putting). If you're really going for it, try the Aldi version of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. A personal favorite is the Make Fudge Not War flavor (88% similar to Chocolate Fudge Brownie). It has loads of brownie chunks. Go ahead and finish the whole pint, you won’t.

Step 2: Wine About It. “Why do you care about two teams that are not even from your home city?” “Why are there body-painted, shirtless men in 15 degree weather?” This is whining in the form of questions. But next time you want to put your frustrations towards the television screen, turn it instead towards the bottle. Ultimately, you have turned whining into winning. We suggest the Grande Alberone Zinfandel from Aldi. It has a solid 89 points on its Tasting Score. We’re into the fact that it comes from Italy. Let’s be honest, we would go on the Bachelor purely for the free travel and booze.

Step 3: Personal Care. Channel your inner Hannibal Lecter and bust out your favorite sheet mask. We are still on a quest to find a good generic, but we are currently loving the ones by Garnier. One generic self-care item we love is Target’s up & up Purifying Sea Salt and Pacific Kelp Exfoliating Body Wash. Perfect for a little rub-a-dub-dub in the tub.

Step 4: Netflix and Be Still. While you’re lounging in the tub with your sheet mask and body scrub, commandeer the family iPad/ tablet and turn on your favorite guilty pleasure show. Personal Recommendations include: Jane the Virgin, Parks and Rec, and The Real Housewives of Anything.

Step 5: Enjoy. You have taken back Monday.

Hopefully you have found this step-by-step guide informative and easy to follow. Please share with friends who are going through similar struggles and leave a comment below with your go-to sheet mask.

I know many people look forward to Monday night football every year, and I’ll allow it… as long as I still get my Tuesday nights with This is Us. The Pearsons are sacred.

Carolyn KochardComment